First off, thanks to {izo}termic and whoever else helped with this. Second, I'm drunk and was about to leave for the bars but this file just finished a second ago so I'll tell you how I installed it perfectly (while drunk, yes that's how fucking easy it is) since so many people are apparently having problems .
1.) Mount the ISO image (I use Daemon Tools to mount ISOs, haven't downloaded an update in years but it works fine for me).
2.) Go to whatever drive you mounted the ISO on and open it.
3.) Run the installer for Hypersonic NOT THE DEMO ONE.
4.) The installation will eventually ask you to install some 'Licence' bullshit (yes it was spelled incorrectly) BUT DON'T INSTALL THE LICENCE BULLSHIT, UNCHECK THE BOX AND CLICK 'Finish' so the installation will finish.
5.) Once the original installer has closed run the H20 file titled 'Setup.exe' that was extracted along with the ISO file. It should be self-explanatory unless you're blind.
6.) Restart your computer and everything should run fine. There seems to be a system tray icon with very little description that must be running in order for it to work correctly, it can be started by Start > Programs > SyncroSoft Emu > SyncroTru Emo H20. Any time I 'kill' it H20 gives me all kinds of errors, so don't do that.
I have hardly any experience with this type of stuff but it worked on my first try, if you're having problems it's probably something you did and not the torrent.